As I sit here, I am thinking about one of my best friends who is going through a tough break up. She never thought she would fall in love like she had with him. In her eyes, every thing was going fine until she discovered enough information to cause a life time of pain. There was a plethora of women he had been entertaining over several months. She was and still is devastated. It's crazy, but this happens so often that it's starting to become acceptable behavior. Men cheat. What else is new? That's the common consensus these days but what I am having a hard time understanding isn't necessarily the act of cheating, but the reason some men think so low of themselves that they don't think they deserve to be loved- the right way by, the right woman.
From childhood, women are taught to nurture, to keep things clean. In a nutshell, we're taught to take care of ourselves and others. Men, on the other hand, are taught to be tough and suppress their feelings. So women eventually grow up to be "do it alls" and men, "know it alls." Right now is a great time for women, especially black women. It's really exciting to see so many women in leadership roles and standing up for what is right. Men are becoming more and more ok with the status quo and following what society thinks men should do, including downgrading the woman's worth. It is so disgusting to see how men treat women today, but it makes one question the real issue. What's the real problem?
We are in a season now where women are very empowered and the men are just there loathing the sisterhood. Why aren't we building our men up just as much? Let me clarify, when I say build men up, I'm not talking about an ego boost (that's a way we mask our hurt, by the way). I mean in every way, including not allowing them to get away with foolishness, letting them know they deserve better for themselves, and that they are worthy of good things in their lives. Some of the actions of men today show they don't love themselves. As women, we know what this looks and feels like all too well. The constant sleeping around, impregnating multiple women, the excessive drug use, etc etc... It's really nasty when you think about. Sliding your manhood around from woman to woman with no protection. Why don't men think more of themselves to protect themselves and their bodies from harm? That's a serious question. Why do some men think that this lifestyle is okay and they don't deserve better?
Men, you are supposed to be our leaders. I'm sure women will be willing to follow a man who is honest in his words and backs it up with action. But we're left to do it ourselves because men are too busy reveling in hate to stand up and do something about it. Not for anyone else, but for himself because he loves himself. Men you are worthy, you are handsome, you are smart. Start believing it. Stand in the mirror and take a real hard look at yourself. It's time to start stepping up. Find out where the true issue lies and work on fixing it. Is it a problem with your mother? Your father? Some girl broke your heart as a teenager? Fix it. There is nothing wrong with getting the help you need to feel whole. Love yourself more. Continuing to hate the woman is not going to make you any more of a man, trust me. You will continue to get left further and further behind in this world and frankly, we need you.
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