I love being married. I really do. I'm not going to lie, at first, I wasn't convinced. I was not the girl who grew up idolizing brides and praying to be married some day. Did I see marriage as a good thing? yes, but I didn't see it happening for me and I was perfectly ok with that. So fast forward to 2014 when my now husband proposed to me. I wasn't at all surprised because we had talked about it before, but I was still consumed with fear. I was so nervous, even as I walked down the aisle. I was literally shaking. Here I was giving up my entire life to share it with this man. It is important to note that he and I had gone through a lot during our courting phase. I mean a lot. There were days I questioned if I would continue on or not. But I did and I am happy about my choice.
Lately, I have been frustrated with the misguided comments that I've been seeing floating around social media about meeting the right person at the wrong time. I don't think this comment is being made with malicious intent, but I need the hopeless romantics to understand why this is a lame excuse. So much so that I needed to write about it. Lets get one thing clear, if a person wants to be with you, he or she will be with you no matter what. I can't see a man or woman who really wants to be with you, just allowing you to walk away and leaving you open for the next person. Seriously, think about it. If everything this person is saying is true, then why aren't the necessary steps being taken to get and keep you?
We've all been there. Giving so much of yourself to another. Living like you're married and giving up your body in hopes that one day he or she will commit to you exclusively. Meanwhile, the other person is full of excuses as to why he or she won't commit (you'll notice I'll keep referring to both sexes. It goes both ways): "I'm just not ready", "I know I could love you one day," "I just need to get my life together," etc...That's really code for I'm not sure if I want to make a commitment to YOU. Yes, you specifically because how many times have we seen that same person go on to the next person and marry him or her? Catch my drift? They just don't want to love you, plain and simple. There is nothing confusing about that.
Remember in the first paragraph when I mentioned we went through a lot. When I first started dating my husband, I was living at home with my mom. After some rough seasons in life, I essentially had to regroup and start over. My husband was broken. Sparing you the details, the point is when you want to be with someone, you accept them for who they are in that very moment, regardless of their circumstance. So when a person uses that as an excuse, that's your red flag. Just because you get married, doesn't mean the issues go away. In fact they get worse and are magnified by marriage. If that person is running now, imagine what he or she is going to do later. You need to run away from that. Now! Will it hurt, yes, but it will hurt later when you continue to give up even more of yourself trying to prove you are worthy of that person's love and they leave you for the next person. That isn't love and it won't ever turn into that.
Real love, the selfless, sacrificing, ride or die kind, can't be found in a person who can't even be honest and upfront with themselves about the real issue; therefore you can't expect them to be transparent about it with you. Stop wasting your time and move on.
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